Welcome to Isaiah’s Legacy Blog Hop Stop #10

My husband Roy and I lived in Indiana most of our lives until his career moved us to the Pacific Northwest (PNW) in 2007. We were there for nine years, and I absolutely fell in love with the mountains. When we moved from the PNW to the North Carolina (NC) mountains, our new neighbors said, “You’ll love the Appalachians! No humidity, no bugs, and it’s so much cooler here!”

Well, they were partly right. We do love NC. But they were way off on the humidity, bugs, and temperatures! Because we were used to the PNW’s 30% humidity, no screens on our open windows, and mild temperatures year-round, the Appalachians still seemed like more of all those things to us.

Did our new neighbors lie? Of course not! The NC mountains are less humid, less bugs, and cooler than the NC Piedmont (valley). Because their experience was different than ours, their interpretation of the facts varied as well.

I wonder if it was similar for those who experienced autism in the ancient world. Because the study of social sciences hadn’t yet formed, behavioral facts and/or analysis was never recorded. I think we can learn a lot simply by observing.

I Began By Observing

Both the medical professionals and expert moms suggested I watch two TV shows to give me a fairly true representation of how an “Aspie” or HFA individual might behave in a contemporary setting: The Good Doctor and Parenthood. I’d already watched Parenthood, which was very helpful in giving me insight into both an adolescent’s character (Max) and an adult character (Hank). I took their advice, however, and gained even more insight with every episode of The Good Doctor. But the best observation came with a sweet family . . . “Down Under.”

An Invaluable Experience

As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of the moms did me the great honor of scouring through my manuscript to study every thought, word, and action of Manasseh, to ensure he exhibited believable HFA tendencies. She was the perfect one for the job since four of her five children exhibited those same behaviors. That woman is Katie, my host on this blog.

I’ll never forget our conversation that evening (evening for me; morning for her—since I’m in the U.S. and she’s in Australia!). She’d planned it so carefully, getting all five kids busy on their homeschool work before we started our Skype chat. But I quickly learned about HFA short attention spans and minimal social filters (LOL!)—and oh, so very much more.

A Sweet and Tender Introduction

My very organized friend Katie tried to talk through items on her list between periodic hugs and questions and other little visits from her kiddos. At first, she apologized for the interruptions, but I think (I hope) she realized how much I appreciated just watching her interact with her precious kids—all ages 12 and under. What a privilege to witness a mama’s love for her children in an environment of patient and godly instruction.

In the time we had to chat privately, she also gave me patient and godly instruction about how her daily experience might translate into the ancient context of Judah’s most wicked king. I’ll list her wisdom in bullet points to get as much as possible in a short space.

A Mom’s Wisdom

• Schedule is crucial; any deviation throws mind, emotions, and sometimes body into chaos.
• Very black & white; no gray areas (when teaching to share, they give away all toys).
• When a trusted someone says something is right, do it and defend it to the death—until another trusted someone says something contradictory. When two trusted people contradict, it causes internal crisis and confusion—often expressed in external soothing of some kind (rocking, humming, etc).
• Very literal (say “hop over to the table,” they literally hop).
• Words with dual meanings tough to understand (sheep, sheepish).
• Process experiences with five senses, but not necessarily attach emotions (face feels hot, but may not understand embarrassment).
• Some may crave deep-pressure contact (held tightly or weighted blanket) while others only allow a kiss on the cheek after years of building trust.
• May connect immediately with one person and be totally stand-offish with another—without any obvious or expressible reason.
• Physical Attraction/Sex – interested in the mechanics of it (facts), but difficult filtering and/or understanding how body feels/reacts with appropriate emotional labels. (Rapid heartbeat, sweaty, dry mouth, prickly cheeks happen when scared, excited, angry, AND when physically attracted.)
• Can be taught appropriate social responses: manners (please & thank you), eye contact, handshake, etc. Teaching with smiley faces (a technique used in Isaiah’s Legacy) teaches them to look at the mouth instead of the eyes, where most of the expression lies.
• When learning, will often create a rule to help remember (look at eyes for 5 heartbeats before looking away).
• When presented with a problem, rather than asking for help or expressing emotion, will often state a fact: “This is a bad game,” or “I won’t do this.”

What It Meant For Manasseh

As you read Isaiah’s Legacy, I hope you’ll be able to see not just a boy king with HFA but that you’ll also hear echoes of Katie’s loving heart for her kids. Because of my conversation with this amazing woman, I’ve gained a greater understanding of the variety of strengths and weaknesses among those with HFA. I saw how she worked to discover each child’s unique needs and talents and then set about freeing them to become their very best selves—much like our Heavenly Father pursues every one of us.

Regardless of our standing in this world or our perceived strengths and weaknesses, He seeks to break whatever chains hold us captive and free us to live in Him. I pray that reading Isaiah’s Legacy will mark your decision to live unchained within the safety of your Father’s love. I don’t know if King Manasseh was HFA, but I do know Yahweh redeemed him from a Babylonian prison and used his story to change a nation. God can use your story to encourage others too.